i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize