when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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