I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
