Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
