I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
