i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
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SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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