This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize