can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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