You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
