don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
