I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
third nipple confirmed
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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