I think I am morally bankrupt
nutella sex= disaster
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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