whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
