Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
