ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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