For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
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you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize