i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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