Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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