No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
