Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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