Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
