We named our party play list daddy issues
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
