i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize