ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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