Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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