youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Help. Why am I so naked?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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