she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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