I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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