meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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