Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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