i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize