He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's great music for shaving your balls
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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