I just cut my nipple shaving
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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