Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
