I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just forgot I was standing up.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
