this will be a night to untag.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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