4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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