people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
