Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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