Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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