She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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