I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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