brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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