'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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