Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
40s are totally the cure
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
