this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
