i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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