Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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