No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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