How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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