i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
