his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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