ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
