i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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