I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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