before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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