i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
