I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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