been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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