i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
