so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
