I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
