I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
