Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
