I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
