wrigley field is MILF paradise
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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