Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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