I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
