at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
