so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize